Tips for the Girls

FEMALE MASTURBATION - WHO'S PRESSING YOUR BUTTON???

With an Oyster Secret Massager you can practice anywhere, if you are alone then:

Masturbation for women is like getting to know the person who's been your best friend all your life but you've never met her. Women can't see their genitals, and that makes them mysterious. Use masturbation to dissolve the mystery and really know your parts!

Let's start on the outside. You've got your labia majora, the big soft outer lips of your vulva. These are remarkably stretchy and fun to play with. Try tugging them in various ways and see what affect this indirect stimulation has on your clitoris! Or try rolling your labia between your fingers, gently or hard, see what you like.

Deeper into your vulva are the two labia minora, the soft pink folds under the big lips. These might stick out from between your big labia, and it can be fun to play with the bit that sticks out. Gently tugging on these is more intense than tugging on the outside lips, so start lightly.

THE CLITORIS

The clitoris is kind of like a tiny penis. It is a small shaft buried under flesh, with the tip just peaking out from under a "hood" of skin. The tip is EXTREMELY sensitive to direct stimulation. Just like a penis, it's made of erectile tissue so it swells when you're aroused. Also every woman's clit is different, different size, different shape, different sensitivity, and different ways it likes to be touched.

Like the penis, it is a centre of sexual pleasure; unlike the penis, sexual pleasure is its ONLY function. Women have a urethra for urinating separate from their "primary" sexual organ, so the clitoris' sole reason for being is to give sexual pleasure.

Treat your clit like a tiny penis. Caress the entire shaft rather than just the head. Try pinching the shaft between your second and middle fingers and stroking it like you might a penis. Try different speeds and intensities, quick and light, hard and slow, slow and light (the ultimate tease) or hard and fast.

You don't have to touch your parts directly to stimulate them. Try putting a pillow between your legs and rubbing against that. The gentle, indirect stimulation may be just what your clit is looking for. Try other things, the mattress, your hand (or your lover's hand) trapped between your thighs, a stuffed animal, or a sex toy. See links to VibratorTalk for the best sex toys.

As Nina Hartley (porn star and sex educator extraordinaire) says, "The clit is not a doorbell." Poking or pressing directly on it may not be the answer, contrary to what you may have seen in porn film masturbation scenes. Don't feel pressured by what any other woman may do to feel good; this is your body and it's different and whatever feels good is what you should do.

There is a lot of myth and mystery surrounding the G Spot, so let's get this straight once and for all. The G (G for Grafenberg, the guy who "discovered" it) Spot is an area on the front inside wall of the vagina that is super-duper sensitive to touch. It is actually your urethral sponge pressing against the vaginal wall. The jury is still out on whether or not every woman has one, but it can't hurt to look. Here's how:

When you are sexually aroused, lie on your back and insert a finger into your vagina about two knuckles up. stroke your finger against the FRONT wall of the vagina (the side that your belly button is on). Your G Spot will feel like a soft, smooth swelling of the vaginal wall. Make a "come here" motion with your finger to press and stroke the area. It won't feel like clitoral stimulation, it will feel entirely different. It may feel a bit like you have to urinate, but relax into the sensation, let it spread through your body. It is a unique and amazing experience that can extend your sexual pleasure beyond the clitoris, beyond the genitals, and into your whole body.

Your clit is tucked away under the labia, north of your vagina.

There are a couple of ways to find your clit. Whenever you touch your clitoris, it's a good idea to use lubrication of some kind. Remember oil-based lubes (massage oil, olive oil, et cetera) will cause condoms to degrade. Look for water based lubes like KY.

Lying on your back, put your hand, palm down, over your vulva so that the tip of your middle finger rests just at the crack where your labia start. Wiggle your finger side to side and you will feel a hard little shaft under the flesh. Follow the shaft down between your legs, slowly and gently, until you get to the end. There will be a fold of skin over the tip (the "clitoral hood"). That whole shaft is the clitoris.

Lying on your back, hold a mirror between your legs so that you can see your vulva. (It's easier to see your parts if you shave or wax.) With your free hand, part your labia. Slide a finger slowly and gently from your vagina upwards towards your belly. You'll know when you've hit your clitoris because you'll feel a small nub; it will be quite sensitive. That is the tip of your clitoris. Looking in the mirror, you'll see the fold of skin that covers and protects the tip. Pull it back to expose the tip. Voila!

Get familiar with what your clit looks and feels like when you're not aroused, then check it out when you are. You'll notice it's swollen and maybe darker; it's "erect," just like a penis.

KEGEL EXERCISES

KEGEL EXERCISES are a great way to build the intensity of your orgasms, and they are lots of fun when you have a partner too. They were designed for women who had just given birth, to strengthen their vaginal walls. It just so happened that it improved their sex lives too!

To do these exercises, start by stopping yourself when you are peeing. The same muscles that you tighten to stop urination also contract inside your vagina. So repeat that clenching over and over. How fast, how often, how long, where, when - it's all up to you. You can do them and no one will know. Try it now! See? It's fun! The more you do, the stronger your internal (pubococcygeal, or PC) muscles will be and the more they'll contract when you orgasm. You can put your fingers inside yourself and feel the contractions. You can buy little "kegelcize" bars to squeeze too - those can be fun. Go nuts with your PC muscles!

Betty Dodson has books and videos about female masturbation that are highly education and loads of fun. The most famous is "Self Loving," and I recommend it highly.

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FEMALE MASTURBATION TIPS

Lie on you side with a pillow pressed between you legs. A feather pillow works best. Bend you knees and bring the heel of one foot to press on your pussy through the pillow. Gently rock your pelvis back and forth and drift away on the tide of ecstasy. Sounds surprising but it actually works.

Take a wet, warm washcloth and put Vaseline on it. Lightly stroke it back and forth over your clit. Tease yourself for as long as you can and then press the washcloth hard against your pussy. The orgasm is warm and slippery.

Lie on the bed with your legs in the air and spread wide open. Prop your legs against the headboard. Rub your clit gently in a circular motion, getting more and more intense as you get more and more horny. When you start to get really aroused, use your legs to thrust my lower torso into the air, up and off of the mattress. The orgasm is so great because you feel like you're defying gravity.

When no one is home and and you can't get caught, stack 4 or 5 pillows on top of each other. Lay a towel over the top one, the terrycloth is an amazing stimulator. Make sure to use regular bed pillows, as it prolongs the orgasm, and builds you up slowly, allowing for a more powerful climax. Mount the pillows and just rub back and forth, not too much, or you'll numb yourself. You almost don't even slide, it's more of a rocking motion than anything else. As you get to the end, before you climax, stop, play with your nipples awhile and then start again. Do this a few times. It takes time, but it is all worth it in the end, trust me. When you finish your last "round", put a small, beanie-baby sized stuffed animal under the top pillow to have something a little more firm to ride. Use anything as hard as a shoe if you like. Or just use the pillows, it is up to you, you know what you like. The orgasm is intense and amazing

Take your index and middle finger and place them on your clit. Harden the muscles in your legs as much as you can and imagine your hips are being pushed back. Now take the two fingers on your clit and move them back and forth, while still pressing on your clit. Then once you get the hang of it tighten and relax your legs to give added effect, but not too much. This should send you into an orgasm. It's hard to keep this up after the orgasm, but you can place your fingers in a spot slightly above or below your clit to do this again many times.

Using a dildo or other object, pretend your toy is a shovel and you are softly digging. With a forward, gliding motion, slide the toy down to your clit, across it and then upward, removing it from your body completely. Repeat over and over and over until you drive yourself crazy.

Drink a can of coke (not light) 20 minutes before you want to come. The sugar and caffeine give a real buzz to the experience.

If when you get very aroused, the lips of your vagina get swollen and your clitoris gets puffy. When that happens, you can get into a position so that you can trap the ridge of my clitoris between your lips. By squeezing your thighs together and then releasing them you can get a fantastic sensation round your vulva. If you keep this movement up, you can get more and more aroused and everything gets even more swollen and moist. This allows you come 'hands free' allowing you to fondle your breasts and pinch your nipples at the same time. You can do this by crossing your legs and pressing your thighs together, and what is more you can often do it in public! That is the ultimate turn-on!!!

Take a stocking or a pair of tights and hold the foot in one hand behind your back, let the fabric drape between your legs and hold the other end in your other hand at the front. The material should then be pulled up into the crotch so that it works into your vulva. Pulling it gently backwards and forwards causes it to stimulate your clitoris in a divine way. (PS silk stockings are so much nicer than nylon for this!)

Using a cord off a dressing gown or a length of ribbon in the same way as detailed above is also fun. If the ribbon is to be specially purchased for this sort of play, try and get one about an inch wide and a yard long. One with the little edge loops is also worth considering. If its an option, try oiling the material up before playing. moisturising lotion is good for this.

A long bead necklace or a synthetic pearl string (the best is the Christmas decorations that come on a long string of beads about 10mm (3/8") diameter. Just stand with one foot on an chair with the beads between your legs and one hand behind you and one hand in front. At first just pull gently alternating from hand to hand. Don't slide the beads on your pussy - yet. As you get more aroused and wet the beads will begin to slide. Then you can begin to slide the beads over your pussy slowly at first then faster. The sensation as the beads bump over your clitoris and vulva is truly amazing. You can get much better Orgasms with long beads.

Makeup brush: The very large and super soft round headed brushes that are designed for putting on powder foundation are great. First wash yourself well and dry your clitoris and vulva thoroughly. Then, spread out on the bed/floor so that your vulva is wide open (being shaved is best as pubic hair can get in the way). With very light flicking strokes tickle your clitoris and inner lips with the bristles of the brush. Keep away from your vaginal entrance as it will probably be/become moist and this moistness will get on the brush and spoil the delicate stimulation it gives. Important - after a while the sensitivity of your clitoris will increase and you will feel like finishing yourself off quickly. Don't be tempted. The longer this stage lasts the greater the tension will be when you do cum and so the more explosive the climax. No matter how badly you want to drop the brush and finish yourself off quickly stick with the gentle flicking. It will get you there eventually and the journey is sooooo nice!!

Feather: A nice long quill, as long as it is clean, can be great fun. Apart from the flicking and brushing actions described above you can also enjoy a pulling the feather along your vulva like an extension of a single finger. As the feather is less susceptible dampness than a brush you don't need to keep away from your vagina so much. The great thing is that as you get more aroused and feel like pressing on harder the feather simply flexes and so the level of stimulation stays the same.